A l'appart, ça fait un peu glauque pour la colloc. Sans compter les frais de nettoyage. Et puis j'imagine la scène pour elle, j'imagine sa tête en ouvrant la porte. Ce que je n'imagine pas, par contre, c'est sa réaction. Panique ? Horreur ?
Peu importe.
La forêt.
Il y en a une juste à côté. Son seul défaut est d'être trop fréquentée. Il faut tout de même un minimum de solitude - combien exactement je ne sais pas -1h ou plus, le fait est que je ne suis pas sure de les avoir.
Il est étrange de voir à quel point certaines choses doivent être minutieusement préparées, tandis que d'autres peuvent être laissées à l'abandon. Pas besoin de ranger ses affaires, de faire ses valises comme avant un voyage - surtout, ne pas oublier sa brosse à dent, ne rien laisser à pourrir dans le frigo.
Par contre, il faut bien s'occuper des plantes et des animaux : beaucoup d'eau et assez de nourriture pour tenir jusqu'à ce que quelqu'un pense à s'occuper d'eux. Laisser quelques lettres, pour dire tout ce qu'on aura jamais eu l'occasion de dire. Penser un peu, se souvenir.
J'en rêve chaque nuit. Evidemment c'est incohérent, mais tout y est angoissant comme ces films d'horreur où la mort se distribue au cours d'un jeu. Moi c'est cette vie qui est en train de me tuer. Heureusement, je mourrais avant qu'elle n'en est eu le temps.
ling
J'ai 20 ans, je veux mourir
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